It was a new day, but there was something oddly familiar about it. I received a call for an 885; a freak high-speed accident. It seems one sword-wielding freak was running uncontrollably and ran into another freak. The impact left the single victim bruised, bleeding, headless and dead.
My liege, Scoundrel Ed Hawkings was already at the scene.

“What a mess, Ed. It makes our job so much easier when these kinds of puzzles are in one piece.”
“Yeah, this one came unassembled.”
“Did you hear there was a guy who was killed just like this over in Jersey yesterday?”
“Yeah, but I figured, what the hell, it’s Jersey.”
“That’s a strange one too. Did you make an arrest in that Crosby Stills case?’
“No. We’re questioning some guy named Nash. Antique dealer down on Hudson Street."

Looking around the crime scene, we notice a yellow dog sitting next to a big orange cat on a trash can. With a smile the cat kicks the dog to the ground. Ed chuckles, “Cripes. You’re a barrel of laughs, Garfield.”
I walk over to the animals and notice something hidden among the barrels. I held it up to get a better look.
“What the hell do ya got?”
“A sword, Ed.”
“A sword? What is it?”
“It’s a sharp forged metal fighting implement and handy tool for opening casks, but that’s not important right now. What is important is the style. It’s a Toledo-Salamanca.’
“A what?!?"
“A very rare sword.”
“Is it worth much?”
“About a million bucks. Any good antique dealer could tell you that. And I know right where to find one."

Back at the station’s interrogation room sat our suspect, a Scot named Russell Nash. Ed tosses some sketches of the victim and the sword onto the table. "Ever see this guy before, Nash? Name’s Vazilek. Got his head cut off.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen him. He was going to buy a sword from me. Look, what’s going on here? One minute I’m walking down the street, the next minute some giant named Kruger winds up and hacks my only customer of the day in half. This sword must be his.”
“You think you could work with one of our artists, maybe come up with a picture of this guy?” Ed calls over Knave, the sketch artist formerly known as Prince.
Nash helps out with a description, but after an hour the finished image showed only one side of Kruger. “That’s all the information he could tell me. He never saw the other half.”
I replied, “It’ll have to do”. I took the paper and we rustled up the Brute Squad to find this Kruger character.

By nightfall, we were about to call off the search when we got to a dive called Plague’s Pit. We walked in and compared the sketch to the drunken sots in the room. And there he was. Luckily for us, he happened to be facing the same direction as in the picture.
In a deep gravely voice he starts ranting and resisting arrest. “You’re taking me on based on that picture? You can’t do that! That’s profiling!!”
“Take it easy, pal.” Ed said as he subdued the Kurgan.

Epilogue
“That Victor Kruger was one mean fella, Frank.”
"Yes, but now he’s safely behind bars in the Castle Prison keeping Sir Walter Raleigh, Grendel, Jack deLance and “Madam” Sally Decker company."
“Frank, I can’t help it, but I get the suspicion that there may be someone working with Kruger? Don’t you?”
“No, Ed. After thoroughly looking over the evidence, it’s quite clear to me that… there can be only one.”
“Sure. Sure”.

Simply put, once life's 'clutter’ was gone, this turned out to be a great faire season. Singing, dancing, and drinking, with friends and familiar faces is what really hits home and make it a very entertaining season.

Bristol will always be home to me. It’s where the RenBug bit me first and can’t help but go back every year. There are some aspects that make the trip complete; Moonie, Christophe the Insulter, OHRF stars Dirk & Guido, and of course all of the wonderful wenches. The New Minstral Revue (Barry and Bradley, joined later by Jimmy) made its debut and I wasn’t disappointed; as different isn’t always bad. The Tartan Terrors and Barely Balanced were stolen away from PARF to perform. Bristol gets bonus points for shade and serving real Guinness!
The first trip was forgettable and unfortunate; not every trip can be stellar when it comes to fun, company and weather. However the next two visits far overshadowed the past and set a very positive mood for the rest of the year.

OHRF is interesting to see from year to year as musical venues change. First and foremost, there would be no OHRF without Bob Ford and the Ragamuffins. I can’t say that just because Gellis (regularly) and I (semi-regularly) got pulled to the stage for two of their songs, but more because I admire their incredible talent and the respect among the patrons and staff for them. Thanks to Bob, Elizabeth and Jan for all the fun!
When The New Minstral Revue made its way from Bristol, I was a bit nervous that the atmosphere would be too different, but I didn’t need to be. They brought former MOM member Craig of Farrington back into the band and their sets were great. Guest appearances by; mudmen Chunk and Jake, FinTan, Menagerie, Elizabeth and Ernesto, plus a Wenches-a-Wailin’ reunion put some sparks into the musical lineup throughout the season.
For me, the most entertaining part of every visit was the pub sing. Sure, the beer is a must, but its just fun to gather with friends and strangers at the end of the day to toast and sing (often poorly). Inevitably the bittersweet time comes for the traditional closing song and a personal favorite, “Health to the Company”. Each evening, and the season as a whole, ended with one incredible and well-deserved cheer by everyone.

One bonus of the season is the Blackmore’s Night concert in Chicago. It was a quick circuit; driving up Thursday for a gig that night, turning around Friday in time to close out OHRF Saturday and Sunday. But you’ll hear absolutely no complaints from me. Attending with Gellis and Star, regardless of the weather (hail and all) made for an incredible evening.
FWIW and damn the egocentric folks who say otherwise, “Preferred seating”, my ass! There were plenty of empty seats and people in ‘danes’ in that section who simply griped enough to the usher to move closer. Tier One seats at the House of Blues rule; for this and I’m sure all other shows. Fine, fans weren’t within touch/sweat/smelling distance of the band, but at least we could enjoy the entire stage and see over the obsessed yahoos trying to give a front-and-center standing ovation after every song. ”Sit the fuck down, you twit!” Thank you for the offer Carole, but we did much better with our own tickets.
The drive to and from Chicago, the tour of Millennium Park, pan pizza w/ FatTire beer, seeing blocks of Michigan Avenue, photo op for Candice’s camera, and pictures/drinks in the Congress Hotel all added to the amazing 24-hour tour. Thank you Star for being a part of it all!


There was also one quick daytrip to the Fishers faire at Conner Prairie to meet up with Cari and Ed. If it wasn’t the hottest day of the summer, it was definitely in the top-3; not a good day for full garb however, danes are never an option. There was a heavier emphasis on history and education than I’ve seen at other faires, but it was still pretty entertaining. The staff was easy to pick out from the crowds since there didn’t seem to be many visitors in garb.
There were several musical acts that I hadn’t heard before and wanted to hear. I enjoyed the Dragon Scale Consort, an instrumental group that focuses on a more traditional-style of Renaissance music. But my new favorite discovery is Bounding Main. They are a very tight vocal talent, fun to watch and I’m looking forward to another chance to hear them.

The saddest and strangest moment was looking down the empty streets of the shire after the very last pub sing; seeing the doors and windows close to the public for months, containing fun and memories inside each building. But we'll be back soon enough to see them open again.

It’s great to have friendships that extend beyond the realm of faire. It’s the people at Bristol and OHRF that make the season more enjoyable, even beyond the closing days.
Dev, thank you for the great new shirt and all the spectacular work you do, but more importantly, for your company. And to your Minions, it's fun to see you out of the shoppe as well.
Sarah, your sense of fun really makes trips to anywhere an adventure. I can tell that is a trait you picked up from your 'sister'.
To each and every single wench at Bristol; thank you for your hospitality and making Gellis and I always feel welcome. You will always have a Merc around when you need one if I am in the shire.
Harold, it was fun running into you and your lass several times this season, and swap some stories. Meet in Kentucky in 08?
Kevin, thanks for the help in suiting me up in my new kilt; it looks great! A surprise beer awaits you.
Elizabeth, you do great work and you'll be my first stop for a hat, and thanks to genetics, won't be too far off.
A special thanks goes to the organizers and participants of Bristol's Friends of Faire. Lots of incredible people and characters to be remembered forever.
And to my Bride, you make every day special for me. At faire or home, serious or silly, I'm happiest when you're near.